Twas the night before Ironman

Remember how I said I was ready? Well, right now I'm not so sure....

I'd like to tell you that I feel confident and ready to go. Instead I'll be honest and tell you that I am struggling.

I went to see Dr. K earlier today and had to leave because I was unable to speak without crying. It was right after my pre-race brick. Things didn't go great.

The swim was challenging. Only 15 minutes, but I felt like I was just working so hard. There is a current, and although this water is less salty than Bermuda, it is yucky. Yes, yucky. Salty. I don't like it all.

I did swim at a reasonable pace. I think. But I just didn't feel good in the water. I felt tired. I tried to slow myself and be calm, but it was difficult to swim straight with the current. On the positive side, the water is beautiful and the temp was okay once I got warmed up.

The bike was a bit better. I felt good. That was, until I turned around into the headwind. And then a bee flew into my helmet and instantly stung my head. Damn. I'm not kidding. Fortunately the pain subsided and I'm okay.

The run was fine. My legs didn't feel fresh like I was hoping they would. Oh well. Like I keep saying, I know how to work through running pain and fatigue.

My big fears about the cutoffs are the cause of my panic. I know from the data I have (previous races and such) that I can do the swim. I swam 2.05 miles in 1:25 in the pool. I CAN do it, but I just have to stay calm and swim straight. Easier said than done.

As for the bike, based on my times at my two half IMs, I should be able to do this. My issue is about ummm, ....peeing. Ever since the weather got cooler, I find myself needing to go MUCH more often. I can't afford the time tomorrow. I am panicked that the swim will take longer than I want it to and I will have no time to spare on the bike.I won't go into the details, but my teammate Jen and I have developed a plan for that. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do...

I know that once I get to the run course I will be fine. So that's what I'll do.

Please, oh please, let me make it to the run course.

***
Meanwhile, I am postively overwhelmed by the calls, emails, fb posts, blog comments and texts. I am so touched! My office mates even got me a wonderful card and a gift certificate to Citronelle. How awesome is that! And I got the nicest cards from Holly and LeeAnn from my team.

As for the nice messages, nothing personal but right now I just don't have the energy to respond. Even writing this post is more than I thought I could do. 

I am also extremely sad that not a single member of my family is here, or has even called, sent me a note or text message to wish me luck. I know they love me, and this is all crazy to them, but jeez... It is just the biggest day of my life.

It just makes me appreciate my wonderful friends (and blog readers who I don't even know) even more. Thank you all!!!

As you can probably tell, I am totally am freaked out. I go from calm and cheery to stomach pains and tears. I've never been this nervous before in my life.

More than anything I just want to get this over. I really, really, really hope for success tomorrow. I will do the best I possibly can. I must trust the training. I honestly believe I have done just about everything I could possibly have done to get ready for this day. From this point forward it is all heart.

Hopefully, next time you hear from me I will be telling you all about how I accomplished my goal of becoming an Ironman...I mean, Ironwomancat.

It has been so great sharing this journey with you. Think wonderful thoughts for me tomorrow. If you want to track me, you can do so from this website. My bib number is 2398.

Good night!